the square deal

This blog is as dead as Denny.

2006-05-15T22:58:00.000-05:00

Music to Listen to.

2006-04-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

Take the Man In Black's advice from Heavy Soul and go get Jose Gonzalez's CD. If someone has heard The Sounds album let me know I am considering the purchase. On that note, look out for Austin, TX's Sound Team. The new album is due out soon. I've heard it and they are exceptionally good. Other similar bands/albums that I would encourage everyone to give a listen are: Tapes 'N Tapes- The Loon, Rouge Wave- Decended Like Vultures, The New Pornographers (Chip's favorate), Wolf Parade- Apologies to the Queen, Birdmonster- No Midnight, Calexico- Garden Ruins.

Peace Out.

After the Bar Food*

2006-04-14T03:38:00.000-05:00

Question...Best after hour food?

We need to hear from everyone. Including Heavy Soulers!

My answer is-- Chulupa supreme!

Our Future Careers

2006-04-10T22:39:00.000-05:00

For all of you wondering what John, Jimbo, and I might be specifically doing in a few years, check this out. Just hit play in the middle:

Vocab

2006-04-07T09:53:00.000-05:00

I think we need to add a new word to the English language that means "I'm hung-over and I don't wanna be here" (and maybe there is one and it's just escaping me, now) . My first choice is "Heiligered", however that does imply a continuation of " . . . I'd rather be on a couch watching TV with my eyes closed."

Most times, just looking at a person that's heiligered will let you know their state, so it's not like they need to tell you, "Sorry man, I'm just heiligered right now." However it would be useful if people are slow on the uptake or in describing a person that's heiligered, "I wouldn't expect much from him today, he looks a little heiligered."

The term "heiligered" could actually have multiple definitions . . .

2006-04-02T20:59:00.000-05:00

For anyone who hasn’t heard yet, I got a job and will be moving to Phoenix in May. I will be prosecuting with the Maricopa County Attorney’s Office. The tsdeal crew continues to span the globe as we are represented in most regions of the States and one region of Europe. Total global domination is within our grasp folks, so until that time, keep your ears to the grindstone.

Say Vandeleigh

2006-03-30T10:32:00.000-06:00

I saw a Seinfeld last night that I hadn't seen in quite a long time. It's episode I of "The Boyfriend." Not ringin' any bells, I know, but it may be one of my favorite episodes because of the number of memorable scenes it contains:

The Magic Loogie done in the same manner as the Magic Bullet in JFK - especially Kramer's reaction going back and to the left
Jerry's inner monologue after he's been on a "date" with Keith Hernandez
Kramer, George, and Jerry get done playing basketball, and Kramer awkwardly states, "This is the first time we've seen each other naked."
George asks Hernandez how there aren't more plane crashes where an entire team dies.
George running out of the bathroom with his pants at his ankles screaming, "Say Vandeleigh, Say Vandeleigh." Jerry enters as he's on the ground and muses, "And you wanna be my latex salesman."

Anyway, I'm curious as to other favorite episodes/memorable lines.

Bag of Smashed Assholes

2006-03-25T04:14:00.000-06:00

Yep, in a full Bill S. (abbreviated because I don't know how to spell his name) manner, that's how I compare the excitement of this blog in the past few months. Congratulations, we've talked about TurboTax, the weather, and put up pictures of puppies. Way to Frat it up.

At this point in my life I've gotten pissed off. I made eyes at a chick at a late night bar, turns out she's got big thighs and a deep voice, so once again my dream of hooking up with a black chick has been flushed down the tubes. Unless, I want to hook up with a black dude, and well, I haven't lived near Boystown for long enough for that to happen.

FYI: Right now, I'm drinking a Busch Heavy that I obtained from Chris Birch's Xmas Party for having the best costume. As most came in sweaters, I took the liberty of dressing myself like Cousin Eddy, complete with a six-pack of tall boys hanging from my belt loop. I got a six pack of the heavy Busch that night. I gave a few away in happiness, mind you spending none on the fat chick I went home with. And have just had the last one that has been sitting in my fridge ever since. In true Blue Heaven - top floor style, I took my shirt off and drank it.

I 'm really in the mood to go on a Faltin-style rant to motivate people to contribute, but I'm getting tired. It'll happen soon. Don't let this blog die, don't let it get old, we owe it to ourselves to keep it going.

Turbotax Rocks!

2006-03-22T19:37:00.000-06:00

For those of you who haven't done your taxes yet--check out turbotax.com. It's sweet. That's it.

Snow Storm

2006-03-20T14:40:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you Lincoln kids but this so called snow storm has amounted to a small accumulation of slush around here. This thing better get real scary soon if its going to do the damage as predicted.

BONO

2006-03-19T15:11:00.000-06:00

Check it out all you crazy Bono fans! Madame Tussaud's has waxed Bono, shades and all.

Dudes

2006-03-19T08:30:00.000-06:00

Kids, most of you I havn't talked to in a long time so I just wanted to pass along a little note that I am alive and well, despite all odds and the unbelievably long winter, and aparently I am now a blogger. amazing, 24 hours ago I had no idea what a blog was, in fact when chip emailed and asked if I had seen the blog yet, I was like, dude there is no way I am driving all the way to omaha to check out that record breaking terd in your toilette, especially one you have decided to save for a period of days in order to show whom ever passed by. So anyway, I am here and as is only polite according to Uncle Leo (refer to Seinfeld), "Hello"

epp

ps are there any rules that I should be aware of, I think I was a member of huskerpedia but I must have gotten kicked off because I cuss to much, if this is a problem, please let me know.

Day One: Random Observations

2006-03-17T10:11:00.000-06:00

Okay crew, we need a little feedback on this one. Who is your Final Four?

Day One didn't go the best for me. Now that I'm ranked in the lower 1/3 percentile of ESPN's tournament challenge, I am at the lowest I have ever been after the first day. This is a big change from last year, when I was in the 99th percentile going into the weekend. Of course, I also bombed after the first round.

Who hurt the most? For me, the toughest pill to swallow was the Montana Grizzlies upset over Nevada. It really shouldn't come as a huge surprise - it was a 12-5 upset after all. But considering I really believed Nevada was a darkhorse going into the tourney, and because I had them picked to knock off BC, the upset was not a good one for me. My logic behind picking the Wolfpack to advance was that the team wasn't ALL Fazekas, as media made the team look. They have a sweet guard by the name of Kemp as well. But I guess two players making up your whole team doesn't bode well for success (take note, Duke).

My other incorrect picks: Marquette over 'Bama (who looked pretty explosive Thursday), UNC-W over Geo Wash. (Duke, are you paying attention?), SDSU over Indiana (how the Hoosiers even take the court for their sulking coach is beyond me), OU over UW-Milw. (Big XII represent), and Utah St. over Washington. VERY worried about BC now, though. After their 2OT win, all signs point to them making a deep run. I hope Allan Ray's eye is ready for the Ealges down the road.

Another note: CBS's coverage of the tourney has sucked so far. We had to sit through a boring Indiana game with zero implications (even though the ending was sweet) while Southern hung in with Duke and A&M ended G-Mac's magical run. Oh, and how about the continual cut-aways from the UNC-W/Geo. Wash overtime thriller to show Adam Morrison's gangly body and ugly Mexi-stache throw up some shots against Xavier? Frustrating.

Anyway, since a few of you didn't enter the Tournament Challenge on ESPN (don't know why not), who's in your Final Four? Mine are: UConn, 'Nova, Texas, and UCLA. Here's hoping they all come through for me.

Coming up: more recaps and my ranking of the coolest (and uncoolest) players in the tourney. A little peek: Dee Brown is the shit, Adam Morrison is a clown, and Greg Paulus needs to get his butt kicked.

Back on track...

2006-03-13T22:51:00.000-06:00

What happens to Tony?
What happened to Andrae?

Not to kill any testosterone themes, but...

2006-03-13T22:30:00.000-06:00

Danny your new puppy got me thinking- how cute is this little guy?! I wihs I coudl a adopt one...

He'd be so happy having a friend like Chad bear and Jim. I think he and nutmeg could be friends.

From the world of Domesticity

2006-03-04T10:28:00.000-06:00

So we got another dog. I'm not really sure why, but he was free and Marley needed a buddy. His name is Ziggy and he's a Lab/Springer Spaniel. All I need's a white picket fence. . .

Dave

2006-03-01T03:59:00.000-06:00

Well dudes with all this Coldplay hostility still in the air I thought I would share a recent concert experience that can be described in no other way but awesome. Some of you may not care about this story but I’m mainly posting this for Danny. So here it goes….

I was browsing through the web last weekend looking for some Jack Johnson tickets for this weekend. My brother is in town and it happens to be his b-day and I thought it would be cool to get some tickets to the sold out show on Craigslist. Well I didn’t get them but that’s beside the point, however I did see a post for a Dave matthews show. I was a little surprised at first but after doing some investigating I found out that Dave announced this show at Kings College in London no longer than a week ago. I am a member of warehouse and was not even alerted about this “super secret ” solo acoustic show. Apparently tickets were offered to students first and then sold to the public which sold out in 0.2 seconds online. The kicker about all of this is that he was playing in the student union of this college and the capacity of this venue was 500 people. So, I tried getting tickets on some sites and Ebay and all that crap but they were selling for over £200 or $350. And as much as I like Dave I didn’t want to pony up that much especially since the face value was £25-30. So I did what any fan did would do and stood in front of the venue out in the cold haggling with the 3 guys scalping tickets for 2 hours. I witnessed some dude pay £220 no problem. Luckily they started letting people in and these dudes realized that they needed to sell quickly and next thing I know I got ticket for £60 or around $100. I was pumped by this point because while I was sitting outside this student union Dave walked right by me and I didn’t realize it until someone said something and by that point he was already in the car. Also, I met some really cool Americans while waiting in line that I hung out with at the show. I finally got into this place and was stunned that it was basically a bar. This place reminded me of sidetracks and it was literally no bigger than sidetracks. In fact in Chicago I go to cover bands that have bigger venues. He had an opening solo act for about 40 minutes and then he came on. This was unlike any other Dave show I’ve been to mainly because it was like storytellers. He wouldn’t shut up. He spoke an average about 4 minutes between each song telling stories and basically switching from musician to a stand up comic every five minutes. It was rumoured that the gig was to promote Stand Up but as you can see from the set list that was not the case. As he closed out of his last song I went to the pisser and then got my coat from the coat check and figured I would watch the encore by the door. He came back and played two songs and I knew that would be it so I ‘m the first one out the door. Well as I walk out Dave is walking towards me coming from backstage through the coat check area. He is walking with one guy and I stick my hand out and said “great show.” He shakes my hand and says thanks. Anyway, between the stories, the kick ass set list, shaking my hand, and being such an intimate venue I am putting this show as #1 on my list. Its tough to beat a summer show under the Wisconsin sky but this one definitely wins. One of the girls I was hanging out with brought her digital camera and she is going to email the pics so I post those when I get them.

Bartender
So Damn Lucky
American Baby
Where Are You Going
Smooth Rider
Stay or Leave
Old Dirt Hill
Ayhee (Tease)
Dancing Nancies
Gravedigger
#41
Some Devil
All Along The Watchtower

Encore:
I Won't Give it Away
Everyday

Kevin Federline For Real

2006-02-24T15:50:00.000-06:00

Please every one go check out K-Fed's myspace. Make sure you have audio to. This may be the saddest thing I have ever seen. What in the hell is wrong with Britney Spears?

http://www.myspace.com/kevinfederlineforreal

Coldplay Revisited a/k/a the Wundergoat Rant

2006-02-22T09:19:00.000-06:00

So I as most others who attended, with the exception of that dipshit who sat next to the Frat guy and his love-crazed girlfriend, thought the Coldplay concert was outstanding. However, it appears the Dipshit next to the frat guy or DNTFG has a friend in Wundergoat. I understand that the goat likes his jam bands and is interested in hearing different renditions of songs at concerts and I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is his assesment that Coldplay didn't do this. The version of Clocks I heard was unlike any I have ever heard on any live album, radio station or any Coldplay DVD that currently exists. In My Place sounded completely different than it did on their live DVD from the 03 tour. Yellow, the same way. Scientist and Politik too. Simply, put they did play different renditions of songs, its just that the 119 pound goat was too smashed off his 4 crown shots and 5 bud lights to realize it. Still feeling the effects of having to cut all that weight for the state wrestling tournament last week I imagine.

Now to his argument that a world-class musician shouldn't need to jump around the stage and dance in the crowd. This is where he has just gone completely fucking nuts. First off, I sat next to the little bastard the whole concert, or at least until he left in the middle of the encore, and he hopped around like a fucking rabbit trying to lay cadburry egg(yes, I know a rabbit is a mammal) and he was squeezed into a 24 inch wide area between two people three times his size. If he had a 2000 sq. foot stage to play on like the band did, do you think he may do some running, hopping, and masturbating? I think the answer is an obvious yes. Furthermore, this worldlcass musician comment just has no basis. Ok, so Yanni and Yo Yo Ma don't parade around the stage and jump into the crowd, but they are also playing these big fucking wooden instruments which force them to sit in one place the whole goddamn time. And come on, it is a concert! You want entertainment. You want the performers to perform, jump around, get into to it, let the crowd feed off their energy. Coldplay is a rock band, they rock and to get the crowd energized, they must be active. If this was a Mr. Sunshine on My Goddamn Shoulders John Denver concert it would be different, but its not. Maybe Wundergoat just isn't cut out for high-energy shows and should stick to the theatre and intimate venue settings where fans are encouraged to remain sitting.

So I guess what I am trying to say is: Shut-up Danny. There are other good bands out there besides the DMB.

Coldplay

2006-02-21T14:46:00.000-06:00

So what did everyone think of the concert last night. I thought they sounded really good, almost like playing the cd in my car. But that makes me a bit concerned. A late night, and maybe illogical, discussion brought this question... Is that what I'm looking for in a concert? Or, do I want to here new interpretations of the songs much like a jam band would do ie. DMB. Personally I like when the song takes on different renditions and such.

NASCAR

2006-02-14T12:55:00.000-06:00

I think its time we do a NASCAR fantasy league. There is only 5 days until Daytona and these guys are real athletes. Forget about the Baseball or football, NASCAR is extreme! Craig why don't you look into it for us.

In anticipation...

2006-02-13T09:01:00.000-06:00

Coldplay is a week away. Before this great event, check out some of their new songs (free downloads) from Austin City Limits:

http://www.mp3shits.com/search/?q=coldplay&where=all

"In the Sun" and "Nightswimming" feature Michael Stipe and likey won't be played at Qwest, but check 'em out. Definitely worth the free download.

FINISH THE STATEMENT:

2006-02-12T15:56:00.000-06:00

I LIKE TO HAVE A BEER WHEN. . .

I'll Start

-I'm doing the dishes
-I'm watching 24

This one's going to need everyone's participation.
(photos not necessary)

The Star-Spangled Nippletattoos

2006-02-10T18:08:00.000-06:00

I've really been getting into photography lately. This is an example of my latest work which I hope displays a sense for symbolism, context, and tragedy. I named it The Star-Spangled Nippletattoos which I think is profound. Anyway I would enjoy comments on what I could improve on or what this photo means to you or your inner self.

WHY I HATE U2--Grammy Edition

2006-02-08T20:10:00.000-06:00

1. The Glasses
2. Mary J. Blige sings their songs better than Bono
3. Bono thinks people care about what he says

comments? additions?

2006-02-08T13:36:00.000-06:00

Let's hear your funny comments about this picture

I'll start:
-I think I know that guy second from the right...doesn't he live with "the real deal", "rooster", and "robotic"...

Coldplay meetup?

2006-02-07T19:05:00.000-06:00

So who's going to Coldplay on the 20th? We should meet up before the show. Somebody (other than me) plan a meeting spot and time. And perhaps you Omaha guys could let me stay at your house? Questions. Comments.

Brokeback: to the Future

2006-02-07T11:43:00.000-06:00

Kev - a remake of your favorite movie:

Gotta Love the South

2006-02-06T10:15:00.000-06:00

Had the once in a lifetime opportunity this past weekend to see the one and only Mr. David Allen Coe in concert. Dahl I think this show would have been right up your alley. You've never seen so many confederate flags in your life. I got plenty of strange looks throughout the night, might have been because I had all my teeth?? Anyways, you guys don't know what you are missing out on.

Kelly.... put David Allen Coe's "16 Biggest Hits" in the "What's On The Ipod" section of the Blog.

Hey Dahl....who do you think is going to take the pole at Daytona this week??

Radiohead pic.

2006-02-04T14:09:00.000-06:00

I think we've all suffered long enough. Can we please now remove the picture of that guy singing on the short bus. It's really keeping me from blogging.

Big Ben Partying like a rock star

2006-02-03T11:32:00.000-06:00

Here is the steelers QB partying like its 1999 with some extremly hot mammas. Reminds me of being at blue heaven. Luther

http://www.deadspin.com/sports/nfl/its-good-to-be-big-ben-151809.php

On the Ipod

2006-02-03T09:53:00.000-06:00

I'm sure the first thing you noticed this morning was the new ipod feature in the sidebar. This can be updated to include your tastes. So ,if you want to tell others what sweet band you've been playing on your pod (short for ipod) go ahead and either leave a comment or email me. My address is jeugenek@hotmail.com. Just let me know what album you like. And don't send me a single song.

Score X 2

2006-02-02T07:50:00.000-06:00

Along with the fine bands Craiger mentioned...
G-love and Special whatnot
Blues Traveler
Rusted Root
Donovan Frnkenreiter
Shooter Jennings
+ about 40 other bands will comprise this 3 day festival, tickets are $ 250 for the weekend, that includes parking and camping.

Wow, this blogging is a good way to pass on information.

I think the question of the day should be... What is your fav super bowl memory?

My answer. Don Bebee chasing down Leon Lett and preventing him from rubbing it in on my belove Buffalo Bills.

Score!

2006-02-01T11:06:00.000-06:00

The festival is looking pretty friggin good this year. We need to visit Kev this summer.

Radiohead Headlines Bonnaroo

It has been announced that Radiohead will be headlining this year's Bonnaroo music festival. The festival is held June 16-18 in Manchester, Tennessee, 60 miles south of Nashville. For more information, please head on over to the Bonnaroo site. Here is a short list of confirmed acts:

Radiohead
Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Phil Lesh & Friends
Beck
Elvis Costello & the Imposters
Bonnie Raitt
Death Cab for Cutie
moe.
Bright Eyes
The Neville Brothers
Bela Fleck & the Flecktones
Buddy Guy
Damian Marley
Ben Folds
Robert Randolph & the Family Band

Onion podcast

2006-01-31T19:01:00.000-06:00

All you Ipod'ers should check it out. Pretty funny and it updates daily. I'd love to provide a link, but if you want it, you'll get it. Like I tell my 8th graders: "Effort + Responsibility = Success". I should put that one on the quote post. dw

Let's Try This

2006-01-27T14:04:00.000-06:00

MP3 Download: Bloc Party- Like Eating Glass http://download.yousendit.com/82C04E374944DE56

Chris showing us the way

2006-01-27T13:30:00.000-06:00

Bus Roadkill

2006-01-23T21:33:00.000-06:00

What a jerk, rooster.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/5272442

cure insomnia!

2006-01-21T02:42:00.000-06:00

Kids if you want a good night sleep...
start out with a huge chimicanga and a couple of margaritas.

Only five hours later and a Todd DeFreece tab and your sleeping like a baby.

Despicable!

2006-01-18T20:44:00.000-06:00

How about someone post the top five or ten reasons why these clowns are not with us. I have my theories.

Adam- too smart for childish games.
Craig- too much of a camel.

Oh ya, the hedgehog- too short to blog.

Let's fire it up.....Quote of the Day style.....

2006-01-18T14:49:00.000-06:00

I'm a big fan of Quotes of the Day as sometimes it's a little hard to "make your own sunshine" everyday (if any of you have read Seven Habits...) ...so I'd like to hear some of your favorite quotes. My hope is that more than 1 person will comment on this blog (crazy, I know...) I'll start with mine...

"God gives ALL birds food, but He does not throw it in the nest"

Let's hear 'em...

Frat Pack Rankings

2006-01-18T13:34:00.000-06:00

I've been intrigued by the 40-Year-Old Virgin vs. Wedding Crashers debate lately and comparing each to Old School. So, I wanna throw out this ranking of what I consider "Frat Pack" movies. The site http://www.the-frat-pack.com/ defines the pack and lists the movies they've been in together. Just curious how different our opinions are on these.

1. Old School - Perfect combo of those 3 doing what they do best
2. Wedding Crashers - Vince's dialogue is some of the best of all time
3. Anchorman - The fight scene and singing put in the Top 3
4. 40-Year-Old Virgin - Bits are hillarious; same joke told many different ways
5. Dodgeball
6. Zoolander
7. Starsky and Hutch

Roger that over n out

2006-01-18T07:07:00.000-06:00

Figured it was time to lose the Blogger Virginity. It was great to see you all over christmas and if you ever get cold up north or want to see the Huskers, come on down to Texas.

Thought I had a bad day...

2006-01-17T11:30:00.000-06:00

Mouthy parrot 'reveals sex secret'

LONDON, England -- A computer programmer found out his girlfriend was having an affair when his pet parrot kept repeating her lover's name, British media reported Tuesday.
The African grey parrot kept squawking "I love you, Gary" as his owner, Chris Taylor, sat with girlfriend Suzy Collins on the sofa of their shared flat in Leeds, northern England.
But when Taylor saw Collins's embarrassed reaction, he realized she had been having an affair -- meeting her lover in the flat whilst Ziggy looked on, the UK's Press Association reported.
Ziggy even mimicked Collins's voice each time she answered her telephone, calling out "Hiya Gary," according to newspaper reports.
Call-center worker Collins, 25, admitted the four-month affair with a colleague called Gary to her boyfriend and left the flat she had shared with Taylor, 30, for a year.
Taylor said he had also been forced to part with Ziggy after the bird continued to call out Gary's name and refused to stop squawking the phrases in his ex-girlfriend's voice, media reports said.
"I wasn't sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did, but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go," he said.
"I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again.
"I still can't believe he's gone. I know I'll get over Suzy, but I don't think I'll ever get over Ziggy."
Taylor acquired Ziggy as a chick eight years ago and named him after the David Bowie character Ziggy Stardust.
The bird has now found a new home through the offices of a local parrot dealer. Collins, who admitted the affair, said: "I'm not proud of what I did but I'm sure Chris would be the first to admit we were having problems."
She added to The Guardian newspaper: "I am surprised to hear he got rid of that bird.
"He spent more time talking to it than he did to me."

London Calling.....

2006-01-16T20:32:00.000-06:00

Well, do have some news for you guys. I'm moving to London in less than three weeks. My company has an office there and they want me to head up the execution desk and train another Brit trader. I will be there for at least a year. While this was a tough decision for me I feel that its a great opportunity to learn another market and gain a new edge. Plus, I felt the two weeks of travel four years ago during the Oxford trip wasn't enough and I still have a few other things I'd like to see. I'm sure some of you don't believe me because of my Ford Tempo post last month but this is the real deal. I'll try to contact you guys sometime this week to explain.

Cheers

Neumann

Seven: Recut

2006-01-14T18:37:00.000-06:00

For those of you who liked Big: Recut, here's another great one:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/seven-recut.html

Chiropracticum

2006-01-12T23:41:00.000-06:00

Watch out for this guy, Real Deal:

Is that Kitty?

2006-01-12T16:44:00.000-06:00

Funniest e-mail YTD...had to share

What happens when you:
1) have nothing to do
2) own a sharp knife
3) have a large lime
4) own a patient cat
5) drink too much tequila
6) and it's football season?

BIGGEST RIPOFFS

2006-01-11T18:37:00.000-06:00

I know Neumann will find this hard to believe, but I am becoming consumer savy as I advance in years. To prove this point I thought I would list my 7 biggest ripoffs. Why 7 because everyone likes lists of 7.

1. Permanent Razors-You can buy a pack of disposables that work just as good as your Mach 3 extreme vibrator. The package will last you 3 months and cost a quarter of what a set of those replacement blades run. Ripoff

2. Bottled Water-$1.00 for a bottle of unregulated, double secret reverse osmosis water. You pay a $1.00 for about 1,000 gallons out of the facet. Big Ripoff.

3. Ordering the Large Pops at Fast Food places. A large pop costs $1.00 or more than a small one. There is a fucking machine that you can keep refilling your small pop at. BIG Ripoff.

4. I-Tunes-you pay a $1.00 a song where other places you pay $20.00 a month and download as much as you want. I know, I know John--"But its Apple." Ripoff.

5. Wal-Profen(the non-liquid gel)-This is Walgreens' cheap answer to Advil. It costs about half as much, but you need to take twice as much to get any feeling from it.I have yet to see this shit take down a hangover, and trust me I have seen plenty of hangovers in my house. And after your kidneys fail, it starts to not look like such a good deal. Ripoff.

6. Chriopractors-They will hook you up to all this James Bond shit and show you what is wrong with every vertebrae in your back and explain how they will fix it by pulling, twisting, and popping. You walk out of there numb and they only charge you $50.00 bucks. Good deal right? Wrong. When you have to have back surgery that costs $50,000. and never walk right again because you went to a fake Dr. who attended school at Westroads you will rethink the bargain. Big Ripoff.

7. Newlyweds-You ask how can a TV show be a ripoff. Well let me tell you. You spend 3 years of your life pledging undying support to a show and a marriage that was all a sham and then you tell me if you feel rippedoff. Dahl knows what I am talking about.

So now do you think I am becoming more consumer savy? Well before you decide, let me tell you what I did today. I woke up with a hangover, so I got a bottle of water, took 6 Wal-Profen, got in the shower and shaved with my Mach 3. I still wasn't feeling so hot, so I went to my Chiropractor, then went to McDonalds and ordered a large sprite(and apple pie). I then came home downloaded some songs from I-Tunes and then watched old episodes of Newlyweds. Yes, I am consumer savy.

Joe or John?

2006-01-11T13:13:00.000-06:00

Went on a little hike with John Michie the other day. After John threw up a couple of times from only having Sudafed for breakfast we were were on our way.

"Do you know how difficult it is to trade billions of dollars of bonds...AND NOT MOVE THE MARKET!?"

2006-01-11T09:03:00.000-06:00

Neumy...give us a little insight into the bond market, huh? Yields? Interest rates gonna fall? Forecast for corporate debt issuances in 2006? Hell...just talk about something!

Timeless Art of Seduction

2006-01-09T15:17:00.000-06:00

If you're looking for a way to kill more time during your day, check out www.37foxtrot.com. It's my sketch group's site. If anything, it gives a good aerial shot of my thinning hair.

2006-01-09T13:03:00.000-06:00

Hello to all - I look forward to the educational thoughts that I'm sure this blog is all about !!!
Hope every one is doing well.
And I also need some devirginizing. I promise I'll respect you in the morning.... unless it's chip .

Square Deal Poll: Favorite Tunes right now

2006-01-08T11:27:00.000-06:00

What's everybody been listening to lately. I'll start:

Iron and Wine--Live @ Bonnaroo
My Morning Jacket--Z
DMB-- Weekend on the Rocks
Late 90's Rap

Have a look at my previous blog title...

2006-01-06T09:15:00.000-06:00

Can it really be John Kelly?

Is John Kelly flashing the peace sign to his "lover" from Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-05T16:05:00.000-06:00

Just sittin at work scrollin the ole frat website and came across this pic from Big Game whatnot...Oh the days...

This is what comes to mind:

B-ig elk testicles flying at my face
I-nebriated Seniors spreading E.coli
G-irls bitching cause they got a little elk-nut sauce on their fucking prom dress (oops)

G-in and vodka 1.75's found in the kitchen by the cops
A- Sunday evening partying...simply genius
M-ama Marie saying "ya'll'r gonna clean up that mess down'er ya'hear"
E-pp, Steve. How is he? Is he a blogger?

D-rinking Absolut Citron until vomiting
I-mmaculate cuisine
N-ot drinking in the house (shhhhhhh)
N-ot making it to the after-party at Boss Hog's
E-berle. What a fuck!
R-ice that I am still trying to get our of my hair...

I'm serious about that John Kelly thing...take a look at it again!

'sal I got, kep

Lazy Sunday: Check it.

2006-01-05T15:56:00.000-06:00

For all of you who thought SNL was dead (probably just my roommates), check out this link.

FYI, rooster: our boy Samberg is involved.

Chronic - WHAT?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=IggTu7kV7No

Who wants to take my blog virginity?

2006-01-05T08:37:00.000-06:00

It's lookin to be a good time here on this blog... It's my first time blogging, so I hope I don't bleed or bite through the pillow...:)

Anyway, the only funny thing I have to say is an excerpt from a conversation at the bar last night:

Random girl: (blah, blah, blah) you should meet my friend...
Me: oh yeah?....
RG: she has really big boobs.
Me: REALLY?
RG: She kinda has a gut too....
Me: Uh-huh
And then she said:
RG: Yep, ya gotta take the belly with the tits...

Phrase of the day...."gotta take the belly with the tits"

New Year's Revelry

2006-01-02T15:08:00.000-06:00

So I return from the bathroom on New Year's Eve at Joe's Bar in Chicago, IL, and my good friend Benjamin Neumann informs me that a young attractive female has been searching for me. I end up dancing with this little lady for a considerable amount of time and things are going well enough that I hint that I would like to take things up a notch. To which she exclaims, "What? I thought you were gay."

You can imagine the series of "What's" and "Why's" that I was exasperatedly delivering in vintage Chris Onken fashion at this mis-accusation. Apparently I was just giving off a vibe. Needless to say, we parted ways after that. It looks like I would've been better suited celebrating at the John D. birthday party.

2006-01-01T15:21:00.000-06:00

You're my boy, Blue!

Patrick Cranshaw 1919-2006

Sunshine on my god damn shoulders John Denver!

2006-01-01T14:12:00.000-06:00

Good times at John Denver's B-day bash last night.

Or wait a minute, was this a midnight wedding between two Denver fans who fell passionately in love?

So true...

2005-12-30T13:46:00.000-06:00

I like Herbstreit, but the credit being given to USC's defense is ridiculous. This article says it all: http://www.slate.com/id/2133477

2005-12-30T13:44:00.000-06:00

Remember to click on the Katrina advertisement when you visit. The more we do this the more money our blog will make allowing us to pay for drinks next labor day or other suggested just causes. Also, we can attract new and exciting advertisers that will give us more money.

She's Ba-ack

2005-12-28T16:31:00.000-06:00

With the dominating victory over Colorado, and the hopes of an upset over Michigan that would set right the naysayers of '97, someone decided she should come back out tonight after spending over three years in the dark recesses of a costume box . . .

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2005-12-25T09:39:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope things are going well for you. Here's a photo I snapped the other day at the local Mormon Church. That's right folks--a live Nativity Scene! Sheep and all. Ain't life grand!!

Feist (again)

2005-12-24T10:02:00.000-06:00

Just hung out with Feist last night in NP. It was rockin'. He was talking shit about the blog. Said it's a waste of time or something. But I think he could be a heckuva blogger.

Coldplay

2005-12-22T18:13:00.000-06:00

Anybody going to Coldplay in Omaha in February?

Chicago to Omaha

2005-12-22T12:33:00.000-06:00

Well Lady and Gentlmen....Onken and I are heading back tomorrow afternoon and will be in town until Tuesday. We have had to scramble last minute to figure out how to get home for the holidays but we got it all figured it out last night. Just to fill you guys in we didn't book tickets to fly so we have always planned on driving back this week but we ran into a few problems Tuesday and Wednesday. First I got a call that Onken's new hyundai sonata had some problems with his rotater grinder thingamagig or whatever and that it would be in the shop from Wed to the begining of next week. So I said sure no problem I'll drive but Tuesday night my car got both the passenger and driver side windows smashed in by some punks and the three shops I took it to said they have to order both windows. So renting a car was the next idea but its not cheap when you decide to drive the thing 800 miles. So we looked for an alternative solution and Onken and I are proud new owners of a 1991 Ford Tempo. This beauty was the first thing that came up on Craigslist yesterday and after Onken saw it his eyes started to tear up. We went and took a look at it, I low-balled the guy, and next thing I knew I was down $225 in cash but had a red headed friend that has never been so happy. He strapped in, pushed his seat up, went 10 and 2, and it was just like old times. If you guys want to take a look at the specs I attached the listing. Look foward to seeing everyone this weekend.

http://chicago.craigslist.org/car/111136481.html

Sweater Party

2005-12-22T12:24:00.000-06:00

Q:What happens when you live in North Platte and don't have any friends?

A:You have to invite your parents to your gay sweater party. My mom wore the same sweater she wore to school yesterday.

Oh what fun we had! The drink dispenser (wedding gift) was pouring the vodka and rum like water and Jaci took home $25 in the poker tournament. Later in the night we tuned the digi-cable to the 80's music channel and from there it gets a little fuzzy.

Top Five Bars over Christmas in Omaha

2005-12-22T11:03:00.000-06:00

1. The Holiday--with a name like this it must be #1. My favorite Bar in the middle/west Omaha region .
2. JD Tuckers--What says bowl season like 6 flat screens, plus it is my bar.
3. Barrett's--Makes the list with the a great showing last week at the Creighton Professional party. (Castle Barrett's is part of Barrett's if you didn't know)
4. The Grunion--Smoky, stiff drinks, wierd mirrors and a sunken bar. It screams Christmas
5. The Homy Inn--I think if Neumann hasn't been to this bar yet he has definitely missed out on a little slice of Americana.

Feist

2005-12-21T16:31:00.000-06:00

Feist and Ash were in town today and Dahl and I enjoyed lunch with them at the Upstream. Among the highlights was Adams difficulty getting his change counted in California. You either pay 8% or you go to a bank and they laugh at you for asking about a change machine. So Adam decided that he was going to invest in a change machine that he found on the airline magazine. We also talked about Chip.

Johnson you need to make your first post, I know your not busy, nobody wants to worry about their lawn getting water when its this cold out.

2005-12-20T15:41:00.000-06:00

I think the energizer bunny will be with us on this shortly guys. I just recieved this email from him.

"What the hell is this? I have spent the last hour of my work day trying to figure it out. I like what I see. As soon as I figure out what the hell a "Blog" is, I'll start using this crazy technology?"

Devil Spawn

2005-12-20T12:37:00.001-06:00

Not since the Cush dissed Jerry Maguire for that rat, Sugar, has there been a more flagrant betrayal than the Josh Freeman decommitment last night. Whether or not Freeman had good reason to renege on his "firm" obligation to the Husker coaching staff is irrelevant. What matters is the way in which he did it. Freeman led the coaches on for months, leading them to believe he was “100% solid” and forcing the staff to turn down arguably better quarterback prospects because they were committed to him. Somewhere in this God-forsaken world, people follow through with their promises and hold true in their words – solid as “oak.”

After this prolonged courtship, Freeman took the bitch-ass boyfriend rout and dumped Nebraska via text message. I am not making this up. At approximately 8 p.m. last night, he sent the coaches a message: “We are not coming … please do not call.” If Audrey’s boyfriend sent her that message, you can be damn sure Craig would knock down his door and beat his ass. And with that in mind, I cannot wait to drive Freeman’s ass into the ground every chance we get over the next few years. That is, if he ever steps onto the field. He does, after all, have another Nebraska decommit on the roster at quarterback ahead of him. Can’t blame Everidge. Gotta take it out on JF.

Quote from Freeman this past summer regarding Harrison Beck: “I’m not afraid of competition.” Paraphrased quote from Freeman upon considering K-State: “It looks like I’ll have a good chance of playing there early.”

Nothing can describe this situation better than the classic adjectives used by JEK: “Gross. Disgusting.”

take a stand

2005-12-20T10:59:00.000-06:00

on tsdeal, I apparently have the obligation to represent the female opinion, which I don't take lightly. I think you guys should mess with "toffer's" competitive spirit and not let him be the only one with a girlfriend on the blog. where's nikki, libby, jaci, all the girl robots that chad plays with and these girls I know you guys are "IM"ing on internet dating websites? Actually, that might open a can of worms I DON'T want to have to close. Pretty soon profiles would move from Death Cab and Common to Martina McBride and Nickelback (sorry Craig).

also, don't be fooled by the many spellings of the name, although it'd be pretty clever to be to-phat, patented jitterbug-top-hat is the name. in the christmas sprit, picture jiminy cricket. jimmy, I thought that would be a good image while supporting Nick, playing the 98 degrees christmas album and blogging at fieldcrest.

I hate purple

2005-12-20T09:37:00.000-06:00

I have spent some time evaluating my favorite colors this morning and I have decided I mostly like all the colors, except purple. I understand that purple is the "gay color" and that it is not politically correct to hate on gay symbols. Actually, I don't think it is even cool anymore, but none of that matters to me. Despite the fact that I have transformed into a raging liberal, I must continue to hate purple even though it is the official color of gay nation. The reason being that purple is also the color of an evil enemy, well actually two evil enemies: K-State football and Beth Keating. I assume those of you who have heard about K-State stealing our QB will also hate the color purple because it is associated with K-State. Those of you named Chris Onken will hate purple for the other reason.

Bono and I

2005-12-19T21:29:00.000-06:00

Well, my brother Ben was in town and we had tickets to the Dec. 15 U2 show at the Qwest Center. Since I was with my brother Ben (the fan) we were in line at 9:00 in the a.m. waiting in the GA line. It was about 15 degrees outside so I'm pretty sure if the nice folks working at the Qwest didn't let us inside to wait I wouldn't have made it into the concert. I don't know if any of you have ever waited in line all day for a concert but I can tell you it is quite the experience, but, let me get to the point. This was hands down the best concert I have ever been to. I know what your thinking- Roost, you say that about every concert with bright lights and big speakers. This was different though guys, Toffer and tophat will tell you because they could see me. I had front row tickets and got more action from Bono (man of the year) than anyone there. Yes its true, when the little sweaty Irish man needed a hand to grasp while he screamed "Where The Streets Have No Name" he grabbed my hand. I supported him on the rail for quit some time. His hands were pretty soft considering on the work he does in Africa to save people too. Anyway, the story needed to be told and I don't care what you guys think, Bono and I had our moment.

Ninjas

2005-12-19T15:31:00.000-06:00

Ben Neumann starts a blog!

2005-12-18T16:15:00.000-06:00

Ben R. Neumann

Our fellow contributor has apparently decided to start a rival blog. While I must laud Mr. Neumann for the professionalism of his posts, I have to knock the beard. K-Dogg might like that look, but it doesn't fly here.

No joke - check out the site: http://www.benneumann.com/

Crazy resemblance...

Rothlisberger Sunday

2005-12-18T14:21:00.000-06:00

Oh what a great day!! This event happens but once a year. That's right it's Rothlisberger Sunday and also the second round of Fantasy Football Playoffs. These bad boys are made with 4 lbs of juicy hamburger (3 parts Keller Cattle Company Angus beef and 1 part Papio Farms Herford beef), green pepper, onion, "scramblin' for a first down" eggs, and topped with diced tomatos and motzeralla, all inside a tomoto basil hoagie bun. Feel free to add your favorite condiment, but I'd recommend Heinz Ward Steak Sauce. mmmmmmmm.....check em out:

Skyline Improvements NP style

2005-12-18T12:14:00.000-06:00

Or if you feel like coming to North Platte you can get this beauty for pretty cheap. But you might want to hurry because the city is going on a rampage knocking these things down. Damn urban renewal.

skyline improvements

2005-12-18T11:49:00.000-06:00

Thought you all would like to check out Omaha's newest tower to be built by 2009 at the old Union Pacific location. You Chicago boys will now have an upscale condominium to move into when you return to Omaha in a few years. For those of you in North Carolina, they have redone the Rorick Apartments into condos starting at 31k.

Happenings from Hollywood

2005-12-18T09:07:00.000-06:00

Well, it is Sunday morning and no one is up at my place(weird). I have been reading the news online as I do everyday, except it gets extra exciting on the weekends because I get to go to people.com and read about all the celebrities. Lately, I have been avoiding people because of all the talk about Nick and Jessica. See Dahl and I have a personal interest in that relationship. We were there for every stinking episode of that 3 year romance debauchary called the newlyweds. Nick grew on us. It was like we were in 98 degrees. And then on god damn thanksgiving, the day for family, we find out they are seperating. Now today, exactly one week before Christmas, the day of .....well Christmas I read that bitch Jessica has filed for divorce.

Needless to say I am irate with that no talent ho and I have no idea how I am going to break the news to dahl when he gets up in 5 or 6 hours, but it won't be easy. I plan to write a letter to Nick letting him know that all his boys in his new band 23 degrees(more appropriate for omaha) are behind him and that once everything gets better Nick, Chris, Jim and the rest of 23 degrees will go out and find a new Jessica, one that doesn't have a crazy father. I also gave him some free legal advice. Yeah, it is pretty cool I can do that now.

I encourage everyone else to write Nick and let him know that it will be ok. And as for that ho-bitch-slut. Don't watch the Dukes of Hazzard, don't buy her music, and don't look at her. If you see her on the street look down at the ground just like you did for a whole week about 6 years ago. And if you have time, write her a hate letter and tell her how much pain she has caused for so many people especially Chris and I. I had plans to make Christmas cookies today, but instead I will spend the day consoling a friend and taking down all the newlyweds posters. Thanks a lot Jessica, you bitch.

Welcome to Jeffrey's.

2005-12-17T15:23:00.000-06:00

Check out this video for a laugh. Also links to other hilarious skits.

http://www.smithappens.com/video_snljeffreys.php

First Time Blogger

2005-12-17T15:08:00.000-06:00

pretty cool. blog it up bitches

yes!

2005-12-17T14:34:00.000-06:00

this blog is so awesome, not as awesome as NCAA football '06, but what is? Good thing Tanner gave the party boys on fieldcrest his game. without it chad bear's robot parts would be getting changed too much. this is his christmas present to his manufacturer.

I probably need help from an engineer or lawyer on this one: if an airplane is on a conveyor belt, the airplane propelled to the speed it needs to be to be able to take off, and the coveryor belt is going the opposite direction at the same speed, like a treadmill, does the plane take off?

this kids got style

2005-12-17T14:05:00.000-06:00

Welcome Everyone!

2005-12-17T13:21:00.000-06:00